So today is day 3 after my shot and I'm suppose to be feeling like a million bucks. As I went to bed last night with ALOT of pain in my back, not only in my lower back but now into my tailbone and up my back higher. I was for sure that this shot was going to be the ticket and the magic trick to get me back out there quickly and well... It's not. Out of the 8 days i've been home I've been at the doctors 6 of those days trying to get things better and figure out what can help me. Monday I went for the shot, Tuesday to some lady to get my engery flowing the right way or something like that. Then today I went in for acupuncture or however you spell it. They are all telling me I should be feeling these results and feeling a litle better and this and that.
I haven't given up faith and I'm sure not done fighting but it's getting a little frustrating that nothing is working. I am ok with it though, I know that I am here for something and that I'm suppose to be learning and maybe helping other people while I am here. Tomorrow I will be going in for physical therapy to get things working and stretching and strengthing my back.
I love the tender mercies that the Lord gives us. Yesterday as I was reading I was to tired to keep reading and so I stopped thinking that the next chapter was super long and that I wouldn't be able to stay awake to read it. Today after the doctors and after talking with my mom, and feeling a little not uneasy but my mom is worried that I won't be able to return back to Nicaragua and that I will have to serve somewhere else. I had been thinking about it and talking with a friend asking how I would ever be able to accept that and how can I accept the fact if I can't go back out to Nicaragua and also just the whole change. I was taught that it doesn't matter where I serve or what I do as long as I am doing the Lords work, as long and I am being a missionary and teaching and having and helping people change their lives. I walked in the house and started reading my scriptures for comfort and strength. I opened up to where I was and started to read and laughed out loud to my self. I opened to Alma 29 where Alma is saying " O that I were an angel, and could have the wish of mine heart, that I might go forth and speak with the trump of God, with a voice to shake the earth, and cry repentance unto every people!" The whole chapter was for me and also what I had came to love and want to do while I was on my mission.
I know that I will be healed and that I will be helped through this hard time and this trial when the Lord wants me to be, that he will heal me the day He wants me to and I will be where He wants me to be. The Lord has a plan for each one of us and it's not what we want sometimes but it's things we learn to love and be grateful for.
I am very grateful for my family, also for the video game "Just Dance" I am thankful for whoever made it up because it has provided me with alot of laughter in my life. I am grateful for my neighbor/mom who has always been there for all my medical needs and questions always looking out for me. I am grateful for my fat dog who still loves me and was very happy to see me when I got home and won't leave my side whenever he does see me. I am thankful for JK who has made my stay here great and the things I've learned from him. I am very thankful for rice packs and blankets and thick socks they have kept feeling in my body how much I miss Nicaragua.
Life is great! and oh heavens... Here comes the snow.